Let me start out by exhaling real quick ((ahhhhhh))…I’m going to be real and transparent with you all (as I always try to be) in this post and I want you to know how deeply I cherish being a mom and how thankful I am that God chose us to be Avery’s parents…but this parenting thing has been tough lately.
My daughter actually went down for a nap yesterday at 12:30 – which is crazy early…but thank you, Lord. We were on our way out the door to run a quick errand and she was throwing a fit over her boots…and I just said, you know what, we’re not doing this today. Boots off. Up the stairs. Time for a nap. And, guys…it actually worked! She went to sleep!! HALLELUJAH!
My daughter is 3 going on 13. Age 3 has been SO trying. Honestly, 3 made 2 laughable! “Terrible 2s” are a big fat joke. And honestly, as we are nearing age 4 at the end of this month, I really don’t see a switch being flipped any time soon. I’ve called 3s the “Trying 3s”…and I think we’ll be moving right into the “Frustrating 4s.” (Although, I’m praying to be pleasantly surprised.)
Parenting hasn’t exactly been easy lately. I have found myself on the verge of tears many days, wondering when the day will come that Avery decides she will listen and when she’ll stop talking to me like she’s 15. I know she looks pretty darn cute and innocent in her pictures…but don’t be fooled!! (And all you experienced parents out there, please just humor me. I get it…I have one child and you probably have a million, but my one child gives me a run for my money. I have witnesses…they can vouch for me.)
This has sort of been the story of my life for the past million months…so while I was feeling pushed to leave my part-time job to be home more…I found myself in prayer asking “Are you sure, God? Is this really what you’re calling me to do? I’m going to keep praying about this a little longer just to make SURE sure, okay? And if this is for sure what you want me to do, just keep laying it on my heart.”
Man. I saw myself doubting this change, questioning if this was really what God was calling me to do. Wondering if I could handle being home more…if I had the patience to be “on call” every waking minute of every day of the work week. Questioning if I had what it took to be a stay-at/work-from-home-mom…if I was equipped to handle it. And as I doubted and questioned, I remembered Jesus speaking to his disciples in Matthew 8:26 during the storm (as he slept on the boat and they fretted over the waves)…
“Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.
Why was I afraid? Did I fear that the rough waves surrounding parenting right now would crash over top of me? Did I fear that I would drown at home?
Okay…but again I ask myself, why was I afraid? Did I doubt that Jesus could calm this storm? Did I doubt that He would equip me with what I needed for what He called me to do? Did I expect to do this on my own? Was my faith in Him and His calling small?
With Jesus, my storm is calmed. With Jesus, my doubt is washed away with the waves. With Jesus, my calling is clear and I will trust it and have faith in Him. I was hand-selected to mother Avery…God knew full well that I was going to be the best fit mommy for Avery.
“Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?”
I am no longer afraid…I am honored. I will trust. I will not doubt. I will be faithful in my calling, as it is a privilege to be called to this…
(She is pretty darn cute, isn’t she!? My husband is often telling her, “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”) So this morning, as we’ve now had TWO nights in a row of her going to bed without throwing a fit and screaming at her door for us to come back up to her room…I feel refreshed…renewed. I feel encouraged. While the days seem incredibly long, the years are sadly short. I will cherish these days – good and bad – and I will stay the course. Because my Captain is faithful, I will be too.
Fellow moms, how are you doing? Moms of toddlers/pre-schoolers…I know how you’re doing. Hang in there! Praying for you all today…praying for patience, faith, hope…sanity. Who wants to meet for coffee!? 😉
His will, His way…