When we hear God’s clear calling to do something and you LISTEN…and then it doesn’t work out [how we envisioned it working out], it can be very confusing…understandably. Because certainly, if God has directed me here, OF COURSE it will be a good outcome for me because why else would He direct me this way?
This thought is one we often have as Christians when something doesn’t work out how we _____________________ [thought it would, prayed it would, imagined it would, dreamed it would, etc.]. Insert whichever you’d like into the blank…
The Bible tells us in Romans 8:28…
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
I shared this verse many times throughout my blogging last year as we maneuvered the path of gestational surrogacy. I clung to this verse and thought/prayed/imagined we would have a child through this. Surely God would not lead us here for it to NOT work…after everything I had been through, more heartache was not in our future…not us!! We felt a clear calling from God that this was the path we were supposed to take to build our family.
If you followed our journey last year, you know the outcome…we certainly did not have a biological child through it. In fact, we lost three babies and our hope and chances for another biological child.
I clung to Romans 8:28…I loved God…I followed His calling…why did He not work it for the good?
Over the past 7 months, I wouldn’t say that I struggled with this…I accepted God’s answer. I was thankful for an answer, but I did wonder…what was the point? Why did he take us down this path…so unique, so non-traditional to have it not work out in the end? When we have questions, we should look to the ultimate source of wisdom, answers can be found in the Bible.
Isaiah 55: 8-9 reads,
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
And I realized…I don’t have to understand why He took us down that road to reach the outcome that we did. He wrote that part of our story for a reason, whether I understand that reason or not. His ways are higher than mine, as well as His thoughts, and His purpose is far grander than what I can fathom or understand. And just because the outcome wasn’t “good” in my eyes, who is to say that God will not use it for HIS good??? I have reflected on this thought…and it has led me back to Romans 8:28…
“who have been CALLED according to HIS purpose.”
He called us…plain and simple. And part of walking with God is hearing His calling and acting on that – no matter what it is. And sometimes…He will use that calling to not just give us what WE want, but to redirect us to what HE wants, to what HIS purpose is……down paths that we may not have otherwise considered had we not followed Him down the path that seemed appealing to our wants to begin with…
My sister opened my eyes to the concept of perhaps part of that path was God giving me time to heal emotionally and grow spiritually without the permanency of thinking I could never try again. And I just thought that was beautiful…it helped my heart, and it gave me perspective. And I did, I wanted that path so badly…I wanted it to work, I wasn’t ready for the permanency of never trying again…but God had/has other plans…
I have had quite some time to think about how I want to share this information….because God began laying this on our (mine and JJ’s) hearts immediately following our final failed transfer attempt…and I have felt Him pushing me and urging me to write it out…to put it out there…to share it with you all who prayed so diligently for us, because we again will welcome your prayers as we continue to follow God and His calling no matter what.
Over the course of this past winter, we heard God’s calling to the idea of foster-to-adopt. Honestly, when this “idea” first came about…we were both very skeptical. We had never experienced this before…we didn’t know anyone who had done this or why this could be our calling. But God did not cease in His calling…when we wanted to take some time to think about it, pray about it, and “let the dust settle” from our earth-shattering 2014, He kept pursuing us. He put an army of supporters around us at our church home…families who have fostered in the past, families who were currently fostering, and those who were becoming licensed. They literally came out of the woodwork without us pursuing them…God was again pursuing us. Ensuring that we heard His calling loud and clear. And we did…
Early this spring, we said to each other “What are we waiting for…” and we submitted our application. Currently, we are in the licensing phase…filling out lots of paperwork, making friends/family fill out tons of paperwork about us (Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!), and our 38 hours of classes begin in August with a licensing date set for the end of September.
You may not be familiar with the term foster-to-adopt, but I will get into that more in later posts and explain to you what that will look like for us. But today, I just wanted to share they way that God. Is. Moving. in our lives!! The way he truly DOES work all things for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to HIS purpose.
Romans 8:28 came up in my news feed the other day and literally lept off the page at me. It was like God was reminding me…remember this promise? Remember this verse that you clung to so dearly over the past year? Remember that goodness you were searching for? Wondering what good came from all of that?
THIS is what I was preparing you for. THIS is my calling for you. THIS is my purpose. I have felt your love…and THIS. IS. GOOD.
You see, this is good…and it’s completely according to His calling and His purpose…not ours. We will walk by faith no matter what. I encourage you to TRUST in His greater purpose, no matter what it is you’re going through…He will make beauty from ashes and it. will. be. good.
His will, His way