Over the past couple weeks I have had quite a few people ask me if I am ready to turn 30…I guess 30 can be one of those ages that you hit and you wonder how am I 30?? How could I not possibly be in my twenties any longer? Where did my twenties actually go? How did I get here?
But for me…I know exactly where my twenties went and I know exactly how I got here.
My twenties were such an odd decade…I entered them as this person, that I hardly even know anymore. I was young, in college, making dumb decisions…living life totally for ME. Don’t get me wrong…I have wonderful memories from my early twenties – meeting amazing friends, sharing in volleyball triumphs and championships, learning A LOT…I had so much fun with my friends and college teammates. We made memories together that I will cherish forever. But I also have memories that I don’t really want to remember…times that I was just flat out low…selfish, ungodly, ugly, sinful… I was attending church when it was convenient. I was going when I’d go home for the weekend or a holiday…simply working it into MY schedule.
After college, I found church again…an amazing church actually (Grace on Grubb Rd. in Erie if anyone in Erie is searching for a church home!!!). But during that time, I was still living this dual life. During church and church-related events, I was this person…….and during the rest of normal life activities, I was this other person. Again…I was living my life for myself and really just working Jesus into the equation when I felt like it.
At 24, along came the man God chose to be my husband. And…at the time, he was just as lost as I was, we both owned the map but chose not to look at it. But God ALWAYS knows what He’s doing, and always works things for the good of those who love Him. We fell head over heels for each other very quickly…and that was our speed from that point on. We were quickly engaged, married shortly after that and then along came Avery. My husband explains it as “downhill and with the wind.” Although, sometimes I hear “downhill” and think that sounds like a bad thing…even though they were all wonderful things…so I’m not sure if that’s an accurate saying that he says… Anyways, and there I was at 26, a wife and a mom! The two greatest roles that God could have ever given me!!
Soon after Avery’s birth, you all know what came next…my illness, my surgery, and my enormous emotional recovery. After that was our gestational surrogacy attempts with our amazing surrogate, Jessica, and the loss of our three babies. Through those HARD three years, God changed me. He worked in my heart and on my heart more than He ever had before. I think because I finally surrendered. I finally gave it all to Him because I realized I was not in control.
So from 26 to 29…I gave up. I gave in to God’s will. I accepted HIS plan for me and our family and chose to follow Him wherever He was going to lead me. I found myself in Christ and I discovered (and am discovering) who God created me to be, not who I imagined me to be.
And now here I am, on the eve of my 30th birthday…so, so EXCITED to turn 30. So ready for this decade! So thrilled to be living for Jesus and following my Savior! Because I am excited to see what He has in store for me, for us…I am excited for our unfolding story, excited to step onto this ride where, I don’t have to be in the driver’s seat because guess what? He is in control and when you are following God’s will for your life, he will never forsake you or harm you.
I am currently doing a Bible study on 1st and 2nd Peter, and guys, it has been so good…so fulfilling…so what I needed leading up to this milestone!! Check out what 1 Peter 4:1-2 has to say about Living for God:
Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. 2 As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.
And that’s what I’m doing…I am going to live for the will of God. I encourage you to read on in 1 Peter 4…and I encourage you to live for the will of God.
My anthem for turning 30 is “Touch the Sky” by Hillsong United…“I found my life when I laid it down.”
Will you lay your life down to Jesus? You will find it worth living when you do!
His will His way,